I haven't been awake past 10pm since this photo was taken in 2009.
#1 You start thinking about contents insurance.
You don’t own anything apart from a bicycle, a Nintendo 64, and the electric frying pan with the melted handle that your mother gave you when you moved out of home.
But still.
Maybe you should insure that junk, because it’s better than having nothing, right?
It’s not.
#2 Your personal comfort becomes more valuable to you than looking good.
You decide that you were stylish enough when you were younger and now it’s time to be warm and have free movement of your limbs when you go out.
I assume so, anyway.
I was never stylish at any age.
I wore hand me downs.
From my brother.
#3 Your hangovers become brutal.
They used to set in as a gentle headache, then ease off after a strong coffee and 4 hash browns.
Now they break down your door at 7am and smash you in the face with all the force of a date rapist.
#4 It becomes harder to keep the weight off.
You used to eat like a 12 year old boy, but you had an arse like one too.
Now you have an arse like Jack Osbourne.
Before cocaine.
#5 When you buy cereal, you choose the ones that promise to lower your cholesterol.
Whatever that is.
#6 You start getting along better with your parents.
You realise they’re not so bad.
You stop planning ways to spend your inheritance because you don’t want them to die so much anymore.
#7 When someone offers you free drugs, you say no because you have work in the morning.
Just kidding.
I would never do that.
